Oh, the all too familiar week where all you wanna do is give
it the finger. You’ve worked all day and
have plans to take care of that one errand that you haven’t had time to do in 3
months. Your LEO is picking up the kids and you’re gonna GET. IT. DONE. Well,
that’s the plan anyway. Your phone
chimes with a message that your LEO is working his 3rd extra shift
that week. Your response?
Well damn, I’m glad that was a text cause what….the….ef. So here we go again. Doing it all alone. Instead of a peaceful trip to the store, you
head to pick up your 2-year old who doesn’t have any pants on because he had an
accident and you forgot to restock his cubby with extra clothes and then your 8
year old who’s first words to you are “Can I get a game on my Ipad?”. Well, hello son. It’s nice to see you too. On the drive they realize we aren’t heading
home and the questions begin.
“Where are we going?” “Somewhere.”
“Why?” “Because.”
“I want a snack?” “How
are you always hungry? I just saw you
finish a snack at pick up!”
“I need to use the restroom?” “Seriously? We were just at
school.”
“How long is it gonna be?” “A while.”
“Can I just stay home with Daddy?” “No. No son, you can’t stay home with Daddy,
cause Daddy isn’t home….again!” And
though this is how I want to respond to him on this last one, I can’t. I won’t.
That’s not going to help anyone.
You finally get home from your 3-hour errand, that should
have only taken you an hour to find that your LEO is still not home. You get the car unloaded, by yourself. You get boys settled just in time to get them
ready for bed.
“What? We just got home!”
“I didn’t even have time to play!”
“I don’t want to take a bath. I didn’t even sweat today!”
“I don’t want to go ni-night!”
The door alarm chimes.
Your LEO is home. He walks in and
sets down his bag and comes in for a kiss and it takes everything in you to lean
in and return his affection.
“How was your day?” he asks.
Just stay silent. Do
not say a word. It will be better for
everyone.
“It was fine. Yours?”
“Fine.”
Cool. You get the
boys to bed and finally have a chance to sit down. Maybe you and your LEO can sit next to each
other for a few minutes. But just for a
few minutes, because he has to get some rest before heading to his extra job at
3AM. And so the story goes….
So how do we get through this? How do we remain supportive? I’ve said this before. And I’ll say it again. Being a LEOW ain’t for the weak. It takes an abundant amount of strength,
courage, independence, patience and all things Wonder Woman-ish. There are a few things that have worked for me. Let's just call them tips on how to survive in a blue family.
- Flip the script. Yeah you had a long day at work and a trying trip to the store and an even more trying time getting everyone squared away at home but in between those moments you got to hear your boys laughing and watch them play. You got to watch their face light up when you told them we could stop for ice cream. You got to be a part of their day. Daddy, who left before they woke up and got home just as they were going to sleep missed one more day with his babies.
- Make
time. It’s so easy to get swallowed
into our schedules. Try and
schedule time to be a family. I know that sound ridiculous, but it’s
reality. And although we all know
how it works when you try to make a plan, make it anyway. If it doesn’t work out, schedule it
again. Keep on driving on. Let the kids stay up a little
later. Meet your LEO somewhere,
even if it’s for a small treat or hug exchange. And when they do happen, cherish them. Make yourself recognize that moment as a
blessing.
- Try
to resist unloading. There are so
many moments that could overtake me if I let them. I have found ways that work for me over
the years. Ultimately, accepting it
for what it is and recognizing that bitching about it to my LEO will only
make things worse has kept us going strong. But mainly, what has saved me in these
trying months has been leaning on a fellow LEOW that I can relate to and
ranting on to her. She will do the
same with me and when our LEOs return at the end of the night, it is so
much easier to greet them with a smile.
- Touch
base. If it is not happening
already, make it a point to reach out to each other at least twice a
day. Even if it’s just a text. Reaching
out to each other when it’s not for something regarding the kids or work sets
a positive foundation for the next time you talk to each other.
- Let
him know you love and support him. Reach
out and see if you can do anything for him. Allow him a moment to decompress before
tearing into him about a certain situation. Raise your children to accept his duty
and how much he sacrifices for the family.
And express to them how strong they are for sacrificing for
Daddy. Be proud of your LEO. And don’t be shy to express that to him
or others. He will recognize
that. And he will return the gratitude. I promise.
My LEO and I chose this lifestyle together. Unfortunately our children did not get that
choice and sometimes those moments alone can break you. It’s extremely trying at many, many
moments. This doesn’t mean that I lost
the right to express my frustrations. It
doesn’t mean that at all. It just means
that I accepted a lifestyle that is not for the weary or the weak. I will remind myself however many times I need
to that I knew it was not going to be easy. I may not have known how. But I knew it would be.
They need us ladies.
They need our support from the sidelines. They need it in the background. They cannot do it without us. This I know.
Stand strong for we are their armor.
All my love,
Mrs. 11135
